The
night/the morning of Wednesday was less than optimal. I woke up intermittently with throat burning
and/or need to use the restroom. As I
woke up about 3:30 or so, I went to the restroom and then just couldn't fall
back asleep. The reflex diarrhea (go,
stand up, oh wait go again!) was back, and I just felt miserable. I wasn't
burning up, I wasn't having shaking chills.
I was just sad and pathetic. I
wanted to be home, I wanted to feel better, I wanted to not be sick. On top of all of this, down in the valley
below somewhere what had to be Gospel music interspersed with what I can only
guess was preaching (which kept rising in intensity but never reached it's peak
point...like a coach at halftime getting more and more riled up but never
getting to the "NOW LET'S GO GET 'EM!") blared ALL night long. Normally I would sleep through it, and had
been previously, but this night it was bothering me.
I
had been asking God over the past few days to help me suffer well, and to make
it effective suffering that I might offer up for some meaningful intention or
purpose. With Holy Week going on, I felt
this was even more appropriate. I don't
know that I had been doing a good job of suffering well, and in fact I was
fairly certain that I had not. However,
at the very least I was praying that I might.
At 4:30 this morning, the pain, the discomfort, the fatigue, and the
circumstances all became to much for me.
This time, I just prayed for it to stop.
I didn't want to suffer well, I didn't want to suffer...PERIOD. I just asked God to make it stop. I didn't want it anymore....I wanted it to go
away...and so I begged for it to go away.
I wasn't proud of it, but I felt like I couldn't take any more...
And
so I fell asleep...and slept until morning when it was time to get ready for
work. To my surprise and great
happiness, the esophagitis was GONE. It
was GONE. I was soooooooo happy. I finally rolled out of bed at the last
minute, got dressed, and was out the door with Carmelle for the first time since
Friday. To be safe, we took the path
along the main road...far less picturesque, much more hustle/bustle/watching
out for dalla's...but MUCH faster.
Once
we got to the clinic, I set out to get some food to take with my cipro...as I
was not going down the esophagitis route again. I walked to a small stand
across the hospital and next to Kissa Pharmacy and bought some chocolate
sandwich cookies....not the healthiest but certainly functional and the
cheapest option at TZS 1000. I trekked
back to clinic and downed my meds and cookies while I checked my email. To my surprise my medical license not only
had finally been approved but had been granted the previous day. I was happy to have that awesome bit of news!
The
clinic day wasn't the most productive of mine, as I was having to take breaks
for the restroom after almost every patient.
However, I was just happy to be back in the swing of things for the time
being. I saw a few kiddos as the morning
went on , the most memorable of whom came in for a normal visit but had also
been having issues for the past two days with fever and tooth pain. His teeth were HORRIBLE. It was fairly obvious that he had no dental
hygiene plan or care whatsoever, and one of his teeth was eroded down and
looked potentially infected. After all
was said and done, he left with antibiotics and an escort over to the dental
clinic at the hospital. He took a good
chunk of the morning.
In
addition to my being slow, the clinic was also relatively slow in the AM. It seemed like maybe half of the normal
number of patients sat in the waiting room, and there were times I went back
and forth for more patients but there were none ready. I think a combination of fewer patients and
plenty of providers made for this result.
In
the afternoon, the pace picked up, but unfortunately I couldn't really. My translator went to lunch about1 PM, and
that meant so did I. I decided I needed
a real lunch, so I walked to Deluxe to pick up some rice and beans/meat (Pilau
nyama). I took a different path to the restaurant
to see which would be faster, and as I did I passed a tiny bar that I had never
seen before. Fifty yards before getting
there though, I recognized a most familiar sound...."Near...far...wherever
you are..." Celine frickin'
Dion...will this song NEVER DIE?? I
could do nothing but shake my head and chuckle to myself. This song literally will go on and
on....wherever you are. I thought it to
be rather ridiculous.
At least the view was good!
At
Deluxe, I went and ordered and asked for take-away, and the woman there seemed kinda
perturbed. Regardless, in a few minutes
time I was headed back to the clinic with my food. I sat down to eat and opened my food, which
seemed my more thrown together and greasy than normal. It was sub-standard for Deluxe, and I
wondered what had happened. It was
certainly edible, but for multiple reasons I didn't eat all of it, especially
the greasiest remains at the bottom. In
the end, I was just happy to have real food and a full meal in my belly again.
After
clinic finished up, I called home for the day, and everyone seemed to be in
good spirits. The house was apparently
showing well and getting a lot of interest, and the kiddos were a bit less
grumpy than the previous day (which I hadn't really minded yesterday since I
was just happy to see them). After our usual half hour or so, I hung up and
said goodbye until the next day.
For
the rest of the afternoon, I tried to catch up on journaling/blogging, which
had clearly suffered from a delay while I was in the middle of my illness.
On
my walk back home, I stopped to try to find the schedule for the Triduum at the
Cathedral. What I found was a dark
church with two decently long lines for confession. Confession here is very much out in the
open. The priest sits in a small room
with a screened window recessed a little bit from the back wall of the main
church. There is no room for the
confessee. Essentially, one would go
kneel at this door, recessed just a foot or two from the main area, and VERY
QUIETLY give their confession, even as people walk by just feet away through
the main door of the church.
In
any case, I stopped in to say hello to Jesus in the tabernacle, and prayed a
bit out of thanksgiving before looking around trying to find a Mass
schedule. I found nothing that I thought
looked like a schedule posted (though I actually had, I later found out, but
just didn't recognize). Rather than try
to use my google translate app to attempt to ask someone standing outside about
the times, I resigned to asking someone at clinic tomorrow and headed
home....quickly as rain was threatening and I had no umbrella.
When
I arrived home, I was able to greet four new friends! We heard earlier in the day that our hosts
dog had finally had her puppies, and now I got to see them! Granted, Nyola, the mommy, was rather
protective and growled as I approached, but Cherise pulled out a puppy for me
to see (JUST look at) and take a picture of. They were so tiny and cute, and
they can't even yip, but just whine and squeal.
Puppies!
I
had no further plans for the evening, and started out just doing a crossword
and enjoying a diet pepsi in the living room. After hesitating and going back
and forth, I again decided I needed real food to build my strength back up, so
it was back to Mbeya Hotel. I ordered
the "Macaroni Cheese" again, and waited patiently with my
crosswords. The wait was rather long,
but finally my beautiful baked plate of cheese arrived.
Believe
it or not, I think it was greaser this time than the night prior. The pasta was tinged orange (whether from
grease (I suspect), spices, etc) but the cheese was as voluminous as ever. As I watched (read "looked at and didn't
understand at all) a cricket match on TV, I paid no attention to the greasy
nature of the food and ate with reckless abandon. I downed that entire plate of food, and I was
so very satisfied when I finished. I was
as full as I had been in a while. I paid
my check and happily walked home.
The
rest of the night at the house was just some talking in the living room,
looking at the puppies, and relaxing.
Carmelle asked me to pretend to be a sick kid in her presentation on
triage the next day, and I laughed out loud at the question...Kid?
CHECK...sick? CHECK! I was born to do
it, so I surely agreed to help.
I
took a shower later that evening, and for the first time in a while thought to
read Evening Prayer. I was satisfied,
happy, and went to bed in comfort for the first time all week.
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